date: Wednesday, January 12, 2005 @ 7:56 pm
title: Day 11: Metamorphosis...
Argumentative essay: ZHan is an abnormal youth. To what extend to you agree?
If I were to say, 'Absolutely, I agree all the way.' I think my GP tutors will be driven up the wall when they receive my essay about myself.
Nostalgic.. To a certain extend, I agree. ZHan is a SanPhleg personality mammal, thus he's characteristic would be quite unpredictable, especially he's famished or during his PMS period or extremely drained. He has the ability to expand across his fullness, to the extend of burning himself out.
When his circumstances and surrounding build on pressure inside of him, they will cause a meltdown of his perky emotions. Sometimes, violence becomes his calling with his fist answering it. Blood is spilled aupon himself, with dry blood in between his fingers.
However, this era was over. He surrendered himself to someone far greater than him, who is the Creator of heaven and earth. whose wisdom exceeds all wise men, philosophers and gura. He chose to be under His yoke and for that, he became His servant, bonded under His slavery. His life wasn't a immediate change over for he was an unfaithful servant with many selfish ambitions deep inside him. His refusal to change results in death... 'The seed must die.'
The seed of self-centerness must die before metamorphosis...
Sometimes I wonder.. who am I?
I could be counted as one of a few lucky kids to have our families intact. Even though, there were a few conflict between parents. They are still very loving towards one another. Family with siblings that I can talk to and raise question to, parents that have a certain realistic goal for their youngest child - me. Am I so that fortunate actually?
Love can sometime be so complicated that the line is never clear to me. Once, my parents believed in serving their needs was filial piety and their responsibility were to hire as many tutors for me and my studies will be fine. That drove me to exile. I did once plan to escape from my life, my unfulfilled life. To be a nomad.
I pretended that my erected mattress was a tent and I lived all alone inside.. However, it was the shadow of darkness that changed my mind. Den I was baffled with my choices: I wanted to be alone in my own world, but I was so timid that I'm afraid of my own shadow.
Bit by bit, I withdrew myself from the reality. Smirking was my trademark and laughter was my voice. Inside of me was emptiness. I was literately 'an empty vessel making lots of noise.' I had to indulge myself in explicit conversation and feed a upon lust to keep myself moving.
The Dark Age glommed across the sky. I was Godless.. Turbulence was my goal. I was hopeless. I was none. I saw no future in my life. I gave up every line of shine penetrating thru my darkness. Explicit was not enough, for i craved for more and IT opened the doors for my hunger.
The last thing I knew of, was the lust of the physical that drove me on and on and on.. Door after door, I savaged for more. I'm driven by bitterness and anger. And all hell broke lose...
The very last thing I ever want to happen to my complacency was the Son of Man's arrival. Jesus aka 'the Lord saves', interrupted my routine of spiritual death. The cycle of spiritual poverty was broken.
Metamorphosis. I was born again.
Frankly, The today of me is all thanks to the effort of the Spirit of Death, who wanted to oppress the fullness within me. As the Scriptures say,
'The purpose of the thief is to steal, to kill and to destroy.'
Without my history, I'm nothing compared to my present. With life is full of unexpected strangers that either walk pass you or become your friends, I knew that I had to make tough decisions that might alter my future, which co-exist with my past and my present.
To make my stand in faith, I chose to expel all my emotions to follow the crowd. I made SRJC my choice. I went in there with no knowledge what awaits for me, what lies deep in the institution.. I approached it with a guarded heart. But things just getting better each day.
Every time, I unintentionally made a vow. I will end up contradicting my vow.
I once swear never to step into SRJC, becos the people I detest occupy it and I had an unpleasant incident there. In the end, I was posted to SRJC as an Arts student, when I took pure physics and chemistry as my specialty.
SRJC was the land of multiple of contradiction. But it's also the land of fullness.
Awesome people from my OG, brighten up my faith. Such that, I was able to walk the talk and talk the walk as well.
Diane - a wonderful lady with a peculiar attitude, beyond my understanding and analysis.
Syuhada - initially a identical copy of TKSSian . But differs much under the flag of leadership.
Han Qian - a beauty inside of her that reflects by her smile. A promising spouse, I would say.
Hui Ning - a youth of imagination. A chaser of generation. Knowledge that deepens with sight.
Joanna - a potential musician, bounded by circumstances that loyalty is her strength.
Shiying - unexpressive facial makes my knowledge of her undeterminable and undefined.
Esther - portrays a strong character that her silence is like a veil over her hidden talents.
Germaine - rather approachable. A mystery to me still. Unsolved but determine to decipher.
Xue Ying - a fortunate as a peer. An honor as a leader. Easily mistaken as Xue Er (by Jason).
Lavanya - crouching tiger, hidden dragon. A rather discipline lady for such a sweet age.
Melissa - Drama Queen. Her laughter is like a scent of a blooming flower. Potent but essential.
Shu Qing - truly, like most of her kind. Once she put on her best look. I will drool until I drown.
Hafiz - a solemn person that might not able to keep up with my childishness. A trustworthy pal.
Samuel - Uncertainty. I would describe him. Temperament is reflected by his actions.
Anthony - Charismatic person. A person who knows what he wants and will strive for it.
Jason - a motivator among the crowd. A man capable of doing great business.
Kian Wee - E disappearing act. He's like mastered the ability to dissolve without being noticed.
Zhen Wei - My first pal? A compromising person. Flock only with the same feathers.
Joey - Just like the character of my old friend who looks almost identical. Jun Xiong.
Welcome to the Aura 5 family...
Boom Ba!!
